It's hot out and I'm feeling both lazy AND cranky and have felt that way since I got up this morning. In a sour mood, the last thing I felt like was a sparkly Rishi Kapoor in masala-fest Hum Kisi Se Kum Nahin, which has been sitting and waiting for me to watch it all week. I watched about 15 minutes and knew I wasn't in the right mood to enjoy things like a belt stuffed full of diamonds and a henchman with a beard who is not Mac Mohan. So, instead, I remembered Mr. and Mrs. Iyer sitting in a pile of DVDs borrowed from dangermousie and put it in expecting nothing - just something slow moving for my slow moving brain.

Wow.

( Plot synopsis! )

Mr. and Mrs. Iyer is slow-moving, for sure, but in an enjoyable way. The film is built of little moments. The opening act that takes place on the bus was so well done. Everything unfolds in a leisurely way making sure that we familiarized ourselves with the characters so that we would care about what happened to them. The little moments of quiet when Raja would go out and take pictures were also nice. And, of course, the growing relationship between Konkona and Rahul captured in small bits - the stories they make up for themselves told to strangers and then retold to each other.

While most of what I'd read about the film before seeing it focused on Mrs. Iyer learning that Muslims are People Too (TM), which is one of the reasons I wasn't too anxious to watch as that theme has been done and done again, I was surprised at the growth in Rahul's character. We see Raja go from a bachelor who finds babies and women a bother to a man who willingly and genuinely acts as a husband and goes out of his way to care for Mrs. Iyer and her son. There is one scene in particular where ( Spoiler )

So, while Mrs. Iyer does, in fact, learn that You Can't Judge A Book By Its Cover (TM), what interested me more was her love story - and no, not just because she had great chemistry with Rahul. We learn enough backstory to assume that her match with Mr. Iyer was not a love match. She finished her degree and her parents got her married and now she lives with her in-laws. She has a son, but not much love in her life. Maybe she thought love was not for people like her or that it was only something in the movies (I feel like this, too - life, please send me Rahul Bose. Thank you.) To watch her blossom with passion and love is really remarkable and I don't have to tell you that Konkona Sen Sharma has big, expressive eyes and uses them to great effect here.

( At the end, spoilers.... )



I wish I had more screencaps to share, but I was too lazy (IT'S SO HOT) to go back and take them.

I know it's not fair, but I'm laying the blame for the epic dullness of Bandhe Haath right at the (stylish) shoes of the Big B.

"Why?" You may well be asking. "Why blame the Big B? And aren't you scared that he will post a detailed rebuttal on his blog now that he is so taken with the Internet?"

Ha! I welcome any behind-the-scenes information Mr. B has to share. Until then, let me spell out the crimes of Bandhe Haath:

* Too much use of the voice-over = internal monologue convention. I can live with a little voice-over. I always appreciate the voice-over reading of a letter, for instance, so that the words are translated for those of us who cannot read. I also enjoy opening narration, so we don't have to waste too much time in setting up the plot. What I cannot stand is Wonder Years-style voice-over every scene where nobody is talking.

Here's an example where Bandhe Haath falls flat in this way: ( Illustrative example )

* Amitabh tries his best smouldering Dharmendra impression and ends up just looking kind of constipated. ( You know you care about Bandhe Haath... )

I'm going to be honest and admit that I couldn't finish this, even the music is boring. And my last O.P. Ralhan film... why didn't he direct?! Hmm? This could have been so good. Ah, well, I'm going to go start my letter writing campaign for a DVD release of Pyaas.

Never in a million years did I think I would ever say that Priyanka Chopra was the best thing about a film, but there it is. Love Story 2050 was really a combination of two movies - the pre and post interval shows.

Pre-interval Love Story 2050 plays like a mediocre 90s movie. Boy stalks Girl all over Sydney until she agrees to date him. They date. She has to return home because she was just here on vacation. This is the end of the world. Seriously. It's played up as if they can tragically never meet again... because they live in different towns in Australia. Yes. Luckily for us a butterfly flys along in a train station and flutters to the name of the town where Girl lives in time for Boy to go there and see Girl. Doubly-lucky for us is that the town Girl lives in is also the town that Boy's previously unmentioned crazy mad scientist Uncle Ya lives in. Boy will stay there and find Girl! Stuffed into the super-dull plot are a couple of very mediocre love songs filled with the Australian kind of NRI-hijinks. ( Spoilers for the rest of the film - yes at some point they do end up in the future. You can read more under here.... )

So, yes, the plot was very uneven. I wish the first half had been more compelling. Part of my problem is that Harman Baweja is not likable. I never warmed to him throughout the whole film. He looks a bit like Hrithik, well built and all, but without the sensitive puppy-dog woobie-ness that Hrithik brings to the table. I also wanted to stab Priyanka through the first part of the film. She is getting to be too old to play college-age roles. I'm sorry, but Priyanka does not look like she is 18 years old. When her character says she's in town just to study, I was thinking, "For what? Her PhD? Beautician's License? Did she drop out of school and is now returning years later?" I kept wishing to fast forward to the time travel already. In a perfect world, I would have re-written the first part to have been shorter. Time travel is way cooler than another NRI-Paradise!Sydney film.

Post-interval Priyanka is glorious, however. I don't think anyone else could have sold me so well on the red-haired superstar of the future character. The vapidness of Priyanka works well against the business of the sets - like her character in Salaam-e-Ishq, which I also really enjoyed her in. My new decree is that Priyanka Chopra is only allowed to play fictional actresses and superstars with over-inflated egos and a problem learing how to love.

I wish I could recommend seeing this in the theatre, but the dullness of the first part just drags and drags and drags... What I do recommend is waiting for the DVD and then just skipping directly to the second half for cracktastic, campy sci-fi masala of the future.

Gehra Daag (1963) was interesting for me coming after a week of colorized, cotton-candy late 60s and 70s Ralhan. All of the pieces were in place for later films, they were just a lot more muted.



The unquestioned star of Gehra Daag is Rajendra Kumar. He plays Shanker, who is sentenced to 14 years of prison for manslaughter. See, what happens is that some dope offends Shanker's sister and Shanker gets into a fight with the guy that escalates out of control when the dope brings out a huge claw-type weapon and Shanker kills him with it. He made a mistake and paid his debt to society. Will people be able to forgive him his crimes or will he suffer forever for one mistake?

( More Gehra Daag under here! Click me! )

All of the later O.P. Ralhan trademarks are here in embryonic form -




1. A comedy sub-plot involving Tun Tun as the maid of Lalita Pawar's sister!

2. The theme that crime is separate from criminals. Crime should be stopped, but not by eliminating the people who commit crimes, who are human. This running theme makes me wonder about O.P. Ralhan's personal life. I wonder if he had a friend or relative go to jail and then come out changed and unable to find a job or be treated fairly. *indulges wild speculation*

3. Excellent camera work/direction by Ralhan. We get some nice long panning shots and effective cuts - not quite as nice in black and white, however. He works better in color, I think. Black and white doesn't suit his pop art style.

4. Strong female characters - from Mala Sinha, a confident and forgiving young woman, to Shanker's sisters, Lalita Pawar and Tun Tun - no doormats here.

I also want to add that the film is built on Rajendra Kumar's performance as Shanker, and he really sells it. There isn't much plot and much of the film is taken up in little household moments and vingettes, which would flop if not anchored by strong performances - especially by Rajendra who is really a compelling figure on-screen.

I'm not sure I would recommend this for anybody except those who are curious - like I was - about early O.P. Ralhan or for huge Rajendra Kumar buffs. It was a very sweet film, but also very slow-moving: Hum Aapke Hain Kaun...! with a leftie-liberal social conscience and less comedy.

Caravan has more than "Piya Tu Ap Tu Aja" to recommend it - like about 10 other awesome song picturizations, a plethora of spunky ladies, and a nice moral ending where Happiness is more important than Money.



The basic premise of the film is that Rajan is a jerk. He murder's Asha Parekh's father, convinces everyone around her that her grief is really maddness, and then smooth talks Asha into marrying him to fulfil her father's wishes all in the first 10 minutes of the film - he's a fast operator. When he takes Asha on their honeymoon, however, things start to go further south for our heroine. (Just wait and see how things get worse than the hair-don't she has in the first part of the movie. Grief = no visits to the salon with Sadhana to chit chat and get a permanent.) ( More Caravan excellence under here... )

There are two reasons to watch Caravan: wonderful song picturizations and a very charming Aruna Irani in a huge supporting role as a gypsy girl.



On her first meeting with Jeetendra, she threatens to stab him. *approves* Aruna's character has a nice development from selfish, immature brat to mature lady and plenty of wonderful dance numbers, including an excellent "drunk" number. ( Screeeeeencaps and more discussion under here! )

So, yes - if you love song picturizations and Aruna Irani like I love song picturizations and Aruna Irani please watch Caravan!